Six Classic Monster Images Hollywood Gets Dead Wrong, Part Six

Faeries

Somewhere in Ireland, there's an ever-shrinking population of faeries pissed as hell at the mollifying of their race.

Some might think that faeries don't even belong in a list about monsters, but that only reinforces how deeply erroneous our contemporary views of faeries has become. And the culprit: once again, it's Tinsel Town.

Since studios regurgitate Peter Pan movies every few years to milk a few more bucks out of it, the image of Tinker Bell resonates as iconic of faeries, and with her very own Disney mousterpiece out on DVD to siphon hard-earned dollars from parents everywhere, you can bet the cutesy image will remain indefinitely.

The faeries of folklore would likely tear one of "Tink's" wings off and giggle as she flew in circles back to Never-Neverland. Faeries of legend ranged in size from tiny (like Tinkerbell) to as large as humans. They were nearly always in hiding, but didn't mind luring a human to follow them only to ambush the human and act with violence and even deadly force.

Known for stealing babies and swapping them out with their own "changeling" faerie children, faeries of old ring more of alien abductors than fun-loving creatures covering everything with pixie-dust. William Butler Yeats wrote quite a bit about the faeries in his book Mythologies, revealing the Irish of his day maintained a polite and unobtrusive respect for the faeries, akin to how people in North Dakota view minorities.

If there's ever to be a faerie uprising, however, warm smiles and muffled giggles at how cute they are will likely result in as ass-whooping.