Six Classic Monster Images Hollywood Gets Dead Wrong, Part Three

Vampires

Even in modern vampire fiction, vampires often hold high stations of aristocracy or vast wealth. Giving a vampire money is a little easier plot-wise, too, since having your protagonist relegated to working the night shift at Burger King might take away from the majesty of his supernatural prowess, plus a little largess seems appropriate when he's about to eat his guests.

In lore, vampires were regarded as looking more like Ron Perlman than Tom Cruise. Leave it to Hollywood to beautify an image of horror and superstition. Iconized by Bram Stoker's Dracula, the pre-Hollywood vampire had just as strong an aversion to roses as garlic, could sun bath if so desired, and did not wet himself at the sight of a wooden stake.

However, the image most people hold in their minds is summed up in the count portrayed by Bella Lugosi in the film Dracula from the '30s. He's got long, gnarly fingernails, oiled, black hair, and he dresses like he might tame a lion after he's done devouring you. Sesame Streets "Count" sealed the deal for later generations, as vampires became about as frightening as your grandfather.

Modern films and HBO's new series True Blood tap into a more elaborate side of vamping, but with largely the same bite infects, sun kills, silver hurts, and garlic burns dogma. Even Anne Rice's more androgynous, cultured, and ultimately complex portrayals of vampires does little to break out of traditions born and cultivated in film.